Saturday, January 8, 2011

Never fear, i'm still there! (but no longer here)

Hello! If you've stumbled across this blog, you'll be interested to know that I've moved! Both geographically, and online.

Continue following me online at

I love you.

Friday, March 5, 2010

(Nerd Novel that is)

Monday, December 14, 2009

In Middletown...nothing new

Marissa, Minitruck II (the truck), Minitruck III (the cat) and I made it home in three days. 2900 miles in 3 days is a lot of driving. We got pulled over for speeding every day of our trip. The weather was perfect, traffic was light, the truck ran great. It went incredibly smoothly. I wouldn't want to do it again. I didn't write any profiles on interesting people we encountered on our drive home, because it turns out that there are no interesting people in middle-America. Nope. Just a bunch of bland cookie cutter picket fence white bread dick and janes. It is good to be back in a state where the people are weird. Coastal states have all the characters. It was another culture shock coming back though. We went out in New Haven, and all the people there looked like they belonged on the MTV show Jersey Shore to me. I've got to admit, I almost miss the ski bums, at least they dress with some color.

Marissa and I are all settled in to Brohouse East in Middletown, and we've once again begun the frustrating job search process. It's going...well? I'm going to cheat a little today, and spend the day watching Wildboyz and finishing up nerd novel.

It is nice to have cable TV again.

Friday, November 27, 2009


As I finish up my last days of work and begin the frustrating packing process, I question the fate of this blog. I mean, look at the title. Can I in good conscience continue my rambling blog about my year abroad in Oregon, if i'm no longer in Oregon? Perhaps not.

We've had a good run though, haven't we?

With all the grace of a baby hippopotamus Bend, Oregon has thundered into a secure place in my heart. Its breathtaking views and wrenching beauty have never ceased to move me. I'm no Thoreau, but when looking at the mountains makes me smile every morning on the way to work, I know i'm in a special place. I've poked a lot of fun at the local population, but honestly all their quirks and oddities add to their charm.

I have a friend here who has repeatedly expressed to me that she has no hobbies. Well darling, you're living in the wrong place. For all its culture, Bend is far too isolated for someone who doesn't thrive on exploring the great outdoors. No matter how many bars and restaurants and theaters open up downtown, Bend will always be a small town in the middle of nowhere. That's why we live here. Go play on the mountain.. Bike the trails. Hike the desert. Paddle the river. Do something positively dirty. It'll keep you young.

Bend, Oregon: fountain of youth.

Thank you for all that you've given me. Hopefully I've returned the favor.

During the my drive home to Connecticut I will take the time to post a couple entertaining portraits of strange people I meet along the way, so this blog will survive at least that long. When I do get back East, I plan on actively publishing more of my stories, including the much anticipated Nerd Novel I've been working on since I moved here, so keep an eye on this page for exciting links and updates about my progress. That's all I guess.

I love you.
- Max Tyson, King of America

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Garage Sale

Come to my garage sale today. 61527 milo avenue.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It...leaves the desert?

'Tis true. I am leaving Bend. Going back to CT. My year abroad has come to an end. I'm...sorry.

BUT I NEED TO ACTUALLY MAKE MONEY, which is a papery green substance still found in relative abundance on the sunrise coast. Maybe someday i'll come back, when Bend is once again part of Oregon, and isn't just the northernmost city in California, and consequently subject to all of California's financial woes.

When that happens, call me.

On a related note, all my junk is for sale. Here is a partial list:

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

On the Kharma

Kharma is a dirty pirate hooker. I spent so much time complaining that nobody from back home ever came out here to visit a Max Tyson in the desert, that when some people actually did come, I was on my way out on vacation myself. Heading back to CT.

Right at the end of last month LaStinky and Luke made a pit stop in Bend during their roadtrip from CT to Santa Barbara. I was both surprised and impressed that they made that detour. Look at a map. You'll be impressed too. They couldn't stay long, since Miss Marissa, Bre, Andy, and I were preparing for our own trip, via aeroplane, to the sunrise coast, but in the short time they were here, a lot of fun got done.

We drank beers, shot guns, mountain biked, hiked, explored caves, rock climbed, drank more beers, ate treats, and fried our brains at Velvet drinking Bubble Troubles and watching "Onslaught", a truly disturbing visual jump cut sequence of horrifying gore and more horrifying 80's porn, set to music. Imagine GirlTalk, but with movie clips. Movie clips that are gross.

Wednesday morning, Oct. 28th. Lastinky and Mr. Luke Marlow return to the road, and Marissa and I headed for the Redmond Airport. You know what happened next America.

(Note: If you don't know what happened next, don't fret. I'll tell you soon.)