Saturday, May 30, 2009

9 days

It has been 9 days since we last communicated. The most hurtful thing about it is that nobody even noticed. Well, I noticed. And it's been tearing me apart on my inside place. The past week has been busy though! I got bromoted at work, I've been doing a lot of rock climbing and mountain biking, and its been warm enough that i've been down at the river or at the pool most days enjoying the hot mommies and paddling around. Added to all that is all my mandatory cartoon watching, and you've got yourself a very full schedule. I'm happy.

I love you.

ps I'm actively shopping for a motorsceickle, so if you know of any good deals, hook a brother up.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

On the summertime

Hey. Come closer. Let me tell this to you.

On the day that was not today but was attached to today and was in the past, several factors combined to create a situation involving both friends and fun. I'm talking about a BBQ mother trucker!

I had the day off. The sun was shining. It was pay day. Marissa kay is visiting. You knowwww we went to the store where you can buy grapes and loaded up on BBQ fixings. Then we went home, and I made elk burgers, and Nick helped me make moose steaks, and we made pork chops and hamburgers for the unadventurous. Then lots of people came over and we ate until our eyes went glassy and our ears bled. Then I lay on the hammock, and both trampolines. (we have two. balllllin) Then we drank 1 million beers. Then Nick amazed everyone with his olympic grade gymnastic floor routines. Then I taught the Bendites how to play flip cup. Then I lost at flip cup. Then I tried to teach the Bendites how to play thumper. Then they didn't get it. Then I went to bed in a grumpy huff. Then there was a dance party I guess.

This morning I was awakened from my slumber at 7:30 by a cellphone call from a guy looking to buy my cruiser bicycle. Forced into motion by the opportunity to make a quick buck, I got out of bed and spent my wait until he arrived cleaning the party filth out of the house and garage. At this time I snuck into Drew's room to turn off the tv, since it had been screaming on the static channel all night, something he was completely unaware of, being in a greasy meat and booze induced man coma.

After concluding another successful craigslist inspired business transaction, I made some breakfast time treats and ran to the Harley dealership to grab a bike for the day. My original plan was to run down to Crater Lake with miss Marissa Kay, but it turns out that the northern route i'm familiar with is closed until mid-june due to the snow cover still blocking the higher elevations. I didn't want to take the southern route, since I fear change, so instead we made the quick run out to Smith Rock State Park, a world class rock climbing area just north of Redmond, for some hiking and sightseeing. It was gorgeous. And my legs are now so very tired. Trevor is out to dinner with our friend emily, Nick is next door smoking the sticky with Todd, and Drewmate and Marissa are downtown doing some yoga. I was invited to all these things, but I couldn't go. Cartoons are on.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

On Appearances

It is a sad fact that it doesn't really matter if you wear a suit and tie and nice shoes, people will still look at you like you're a psychopath if you happen to have a mohawk and tattoos on the side of your head. On a somewhat related note, maybe I shouldn't have shaved my hair into a mohawk and gotten my skull tattooed a few days before an important job interview.
Live and learn.

Regardless, life is good out here on the Best Coast, Marissa Kay is due to arrive in a matter of days, because she's coming to visit for an indefinite amount of time, because she is a true friend. So take that fake friends who have never visited here once. You're stupid heads. Life is also good because I purchased a 9 dollar hammock from Wal-Mart, and have discovered that I very much enjoy the act of hammocking (it's a verb, look it up). At least, I like it if the wind doesnt rise and start me a-swinging, 'cause then I get scared and covered from eyebrows to toenails in vomit. It's my vomit.

Yesterday I got home after a long day of work with big plans to hammock the shit out of said device, but instead found Drewmate, and Trevor the shed-dweller (did I tell you Trevor moved into our shed? aka the guest cottage? If I didn't, remind me, i'll tell you about that later) were out in the back yard, a very leaf and debris free back yard might I add, although still covered in Hank poos, he's like a faucet of dung, playing some catch with the football so I of course had to join.

It was fun. And feeling all manly and testosteronified afterward, I did some research online and discovered that Bend has a Semi-Pro football team, the High Desert Lightning. I will try out.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

On the parties

They began wednesday, Drewmate's birthday day with some good friends and fun. And beers. And Whiskey. It went downhill steadily from there.

Friday night our other roomate Nick procured us a keg of Red Chair from the Deschutes Brewery, which is a lightish flavorful beer. Really a sipping beer, not a quaffing beer. But since quaffing was scheduled, and we do so try to stick to schedule, quaffing was employed as our hydrationification procedure. In honor of Drew's special day, Trevor and I went ahead and invited actual females to our house, since the man of the hour himself has a penchant for creating parties of the processed meat log fest variety.

I'm not squeezing your 'roids here, babes in brohouse are about as common as an esquilax in July.
So the party went down. Here are the things that occured-
1. Beerpong was played with fancy beer.
2. Babes came over
3. Dance party
4. Trevor took his clothes off
5. More dance party
6. Max Tyson goes to bed (3am)
7. Max Tyson is awoken to give Drew a mullet haircut
8. Max Tyson goes back to bed (5am)
9. Max Tyson awakens 2 hours later to work 13 hours straight at Harley Davidson for minimum wage.

Life is good.