Monday, June 22, 2009

Seatsmobile

They came. With their glassy, hate filled eyes, and their sneering grumbling mouths they came. With their impossible demands and their judging souls they came. With their voracious appetites, and unquenchable nagging they came! Like spiders floating on a silken thread they flew here. Like Hyenas gathered at the kill they stay.

My mommy and my sisters are visiting. I'd actually been looking forward to the double x chromosome's arrival for a while. I do so love Big Momma and Cierra after all. The Giant is alright too I guess. Unfortunately, they arrived at a time most inopportune. Steveo, in a fit of excitement about their pending visit, embarked on an adventurous rumble, which sadly culminated in a stupendous stumble, a vehicular fumble, indeed, a motorcycle bumble.

During the weekly tuesday night MOB inc poker run, he ran his bike into another rider, causing him to join the most illustrious club, known best as "those who've been down". I myself am an honored member.

This particular crash resulted in his left foot being turned to jelly, and most of his skin to abandon ship, choosing instead a gypsy life as the flaky white stuff inhabiting the pavement cracks of a fifty foot strip along highway 20. Being the manly man that he is, when he came to, he hobbled into the bar for a stiff drink, oblivious to the fact that the flesh of his toes had peeled back from his bones like a bundle of ripe bananas, and that his boot was filling to mid calf with blood. A disturbing squelching sound and greyish complexion finally convinced his friends to get him to the hospital. Where he stayed for the next three days in surgery. Seats.

Unfortunately for him, he's on crutches with a cast to his thigh now. Unfortunately for me, he can't do any of the things he had planned with the womenfolk during their stay, leaving me to entertain them. I'd be happy to do it. I had fun things planned anyway. But for the past 3 weeks I have had a horribly painful ear infection/migraine. Darn.

So while I work all day to pay the bills, they wander around town shopping, and laze around the house playing board games. When I come home, they steal my minitruck to hit the downtown party scene, and I lie in bed alternately stabbing my ear with whatever happens to be within reach, and cursing eloquently at everyone I know. Even you.



I wish Steveo would give me some of his meds. That shit looks delicious.

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