On Patches the Friendship Raft

Today: I got my first (legal) paycheck for more than 1000 dollars for one pay period since I left CT. Hooray for commission. I also got a brand new free 8G IPod nano in the mail, courtesy of Harley Davidson Corporate. On a related note, does anyone want an 8 gig IPod nano?

Yesterday: I worked all day, and then drove around down for 2 hours looking for a KFC, because steveo called me with an order for thighs and mashed potatos. Then I fell asleep watching Tropic Thunder. It wasn't any good.

Wednesday: Woke up so very early. Day off. Why?

His name is Patches. Patches the Friendship Raft. And we were going to ride him down the Northern Umpqua. Patches isn't much to look at, a 12 foot red inflatable, with a liberal smattering of blue patches and camel snot green glue. The rear crossmember simply doesn't exist anymore, and in its place is a heavily duct taped sheet of plywood. Where there is usually a metal frame to keep the boat stiff and rigid, there is simply nothing at all. When Drew first brought it home for us to see, after finding it sitting sad and alone in someone's front yard, it was love at first sight. This was to be its maiden voyage with its new family.

Drewmate's friend Jess, a standard Drewmate friend in that he's in his 30's, unemployed, and drives a 1984 biodiesel converted chevy truck offered to bring us, so he rolled into brohouse around 10am. We loaded up Patches next to his fancy raft (fancy in that it's self bailing. Ohh, and it holds air) and hit the road. The ride down to the Umpqua really is beautiful, closely mirroring the trip down 97 south and 138 west toward Crater Lake, just staying on this side of the mountains between here and Medford. After a harrowing 3 hours sitting in the back of Jess's hippie monstrosity, stuck between a smelly dog and a smellier girlfriend, I finally got a chance to stretch my legs at the Umpqua river. Leaving Drew, Marissa and I to inflate the rafts, Jess took off for the take out point to collect his sister and friend Woody. We were going to do a 15 mile stretch of the river, chock full of class 3 rapids, with a few 4's thrown in for flavor.

When Jess got back, Drew fell in love. With Jess's sister. In poor Drewmate's defense, at 25, and a student, who has evidently been actively travelling the globe for years now, she is an interesting subject. She's not bad looking either. For reasons I still can't fathom, Drew somehow convinced her to join Marissa, Hank, himself, and me in Patches, rather than staying in Jess's much more reliable, maneuverable, and comfortable fancy raft. It proved to be a long day, full of interminable stretches of boredom and frantic duct taping/raft pumping, interspersed by periodic near death experiences and uncontrollable caterwaulling shooting the rapids.

It really became clear that Patches the Friendship Raft was doomed when Hank abandonded ship in favor of Jess's fancy raft at the first possible instant. Like any good captain, Drew resolved to stick with his vessel, and if it should collapse, and sink, killing us all, so be it.

It didn't sink. But it does leak air dramatically, and floated the rapids more like a sloppy wet noodle than an actual boat. Fun.

After a long long day of paddling, and a long drive home I was kept awake all night by the soreness in my legs, back, and shoulders. I like days off.