Whatever soulless Chinese conglomerate that makes Johnnsons Baby Shampoo is a liar. Their "no more tears formula" did make me cry. Now that it's gone.
It is a sad day in the desert my friend, a sad, sad day. The 3.5 oz. bottle of sweet golden hair nectar that I purchased on my first day in Bend and made reference to in an earlier post (Note: citations needed) so long ago has run out. I stood witness to its passing.
Since this was an unexpected loss (I had come to believe the tiny bottle to be an endless well of liquified Johnnsons, whoever they are - sans tears of course) and money is tight at the broment, mostly due to all of my friends being worse liars than the godless chinamen, and not helping me with my plane ticket last weekend, I had not budgeted for such extravagances as hygene products. I do not anticipate being able to work it into next months budget either, leaving me both a cleanliness predicament, and an open time slot in my morning routine historically reserved for shampooing, rinsing, and repeating as necessary. Note: very rarely necessary.
Fear not America, being the modern gentleman that I am, I was able to adapt accordingly. To fill the time slot, I resolve to scratch heartily around my nether region for a period of no less than 3 minutes each morning. As for the hair, I shaved it all off.
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