Musing of a nutriment nature

I wish I could say that I awoke this morning charged and motivated, positively brimming with derring-do and jillepsorius abandon, but that would be the thing that is untrue. As is the fashion of most humanity residing at this latitudinal and longitudinous axis I found myself awakened by the too-bright glare of an unforgiving winter sun, reflecting off of the snow outside, through my feeble drapery, and into my ill-prepared retinas. Justifiably upset by this unprovoked optical assault I burrowed deeper into my personal example of the primitive nest fashionable with local barbarian tribesmen in this part of the world. My anthropological research has discovered these roosts are called "beds", a deliciously quaint if altogether illogical nocturnal arrangment.

In time ravenous hunger drove from me my sweet hermit dreams and I was once again forced to resurface and brave the painful brightness of the daytime world. Driven by primal urges I enjoyed a little me time in my bathroom/office before completing my morning ablutions and endeavoring to create a provisional breakfast treat. Congratulating myself on my ability to pour both grain-based cereal flakes and milk of bovine origination into a singular vessel I crunched on frosted goodness for a period whilst enjoying the clever wrenchings of TLC's luminary series Junkyard Wars upon my television set's screen.

Upon completion of this momentary divertissement I stepped outside to feed grizzly bear his morning num nums. Fear that the sun's merciless rays would conspire to scorch my porcelain shell ushered me back indoors, where I returned to my horizontal nighttime habitation, literature in hand. Hours passed.

My book reading complete I now contemplate the interior shelving of my refrigerator, and the items contained thereupon in hopes that one shall strike my fancy as a nutricious and scrumtrulescent lunchtime delicacy. Even if a certain victual does not, I am satisfied knowing that I wasted your precious time by writing about how I didn't do shit all morning. And you read it. Jackass.