Starz cabaret and BMC choppers presents..

That was how the radio ads started. Every year BMC Choppers, and MOB inc. join forces to host a night of hot bikes and hotter women at Staz cabaret, the premier all girl cabaret and after hours hot spot in central Oregon. Being affiliated to all three organizations through my excellent social networking, I had a hand in coordinating last night's event.

I tend to get excited about throwing a good party, and last night's was no exception. I woke up early in the morning, and rolled out to the gym to get my swell on. After cleaning up and changing I ran down to BMC's shop and helped load their show bikes onto the trailer. Along with showing off the different models they offer, BMC also did a custom Starz cabaret chopper this year to celebrate Starz's 10th anniversary. The bike would be unveiled during the night and raffled off sometime in 2009 for the Grandma's House charity.

When we got the bikes to starz around noon, I met up with steve-o and Big Mike, who had come up from california for the event. We ramped the bikes into the building and then lifted one onto every stage, except the starz bike, which we placed in front of the DJ booth and covered. To reward us for our labors the chef at Starz made us all cheese burgers. Delicious.

After our treats the BMC and MOB guys disbanded and I drove a few back to the shop. Then I returned home to get ready for work. At work, I spent my shift working with this girl Heather, who is a standard Bend, OR babe. That is to say, not very cute and with no ambition. She is older than I, has graduated college, and does nothing but work at the gym and snowboard in the winter. She does have a cute butt though, so like the gentleman I am, I invited her to come out to the strip club with me. I still don't understand why she declined.

Fiiiiinally my shift ended and I got to go to the party. I got there around 9 and the place was bumping. Every table was full, and the energy was high. The bikes on the stages looked great, and the girls on the bikes looked better. The DJ at Starz is awesome at what he does, mainly because he only plays really heavy rock and roll, although when I walked in he switched to an afroman song. I'm not sure what he was trying to say by that. Being such a close friend of the establishment, I rolled in for free, got a pile of drink tickets and immediately made my way to the bar. My first order was a bud light, a whiskey sour, and a shot of whatever whiskey went into the whiskey sour. I had to play a little catch up you see. After saying hello to some of the girls, I went back to the area we had reserved to join up with Mike and the guys. My grandmother was there.

I don't know if you've ever been to a strip club with your grandmother and her new husband, but I can assure you there is only one proper way to handle it. I corralled some of the beauties and got them both lap dances. Awesome. By the time this was over, my drinks were empty so the next time Mindy walked by I touched her arm and ordered 2 more shots of whiskey and a beer. Her arm was like velvet and steel, and small explosions occured in the vicinity of my eye sockets when we touched. She is still the most beautiful woman in the world. Steve-o declined the shot I had gotten him, so I offered it to this kid Corey that works for BMC. After what the dancer on stage had just done to him, I think he needed it.

The night progressed very well, with everyone enjoying themselves immensely, including grandma Jolene. Steve-o even got giggly after winning 800 dollars on video poker. I don't know how he does it. Kharma is a bitch however, and soon it was my turn to be molested by strippers that Grandma jo pointed in my direction. The girl was Bailey, and while she did not look Irish, her skin was a creamy beige. Mmm. After her dance, which got quite intricate and involved her taking off my shirt and ripping off my undershirt she kissed my cheek and told me that the dance was on her because I was so cute. Goody. The only way I could get my shirt back she explained was if I found her the next time she was doing a dance on the main stage. Great.

I returned to the BMC/MOB corner where I was greeted by a laughing Big Mike and Tony, the owner of MOB. I nabbed one of their extra tshirts that they were giving away, and it was promptly removed again by Elena, Tony's wife, who works the front door at the club. She's not a stripper, but she is rather....affectionate. To be honest I was uncomfortable with her dancing all up on me, since I was sitting right next to her husband. Plus she's pretty hot.

The best part of my night all in all was when Randy, the owner of the club and Big Mike unveiled the Starz bobber. It's a really hot bike, I assume their website will have photos of it. Speaking of photos, Rev, a guy that works for BMC was taking a lot all night, for promotions and what not, and some random dude I guess thought it was somehow okay to suddenly take pictures in a strip club without permission, so he started taking some. He found himself face down in the parking lot real quick.

It was a good Thursday night.
Note: I forget how it came about, but my uncle Greg had to wear a big penis costume and serve us drinks for an hour. Humor.